This above picture i absolutly LOVE of my family. its a rare picture to just have my mom and my two brothers in a picture together. but there one problem i see with this picture.....
ME!
i look at this picture and i wanna cry. all the pictures i look at of me, i hate! i look at it and the only focus goes to the belly. i hate hate feeling like it. in general, i just got to the point where i hate my body. and i think i am the ugliest girl around. and the people around me will tell me thats not true. i am so pretty... but in all honest- i know i am not! and that last night, made me fight harder and stronger than i ever in my life did before! it made me push myself harder than i ever did before at the gym. i want this! for REAL now! not saying its gonna be easy. its gonna be hard. there are gonna be days where i just wanna give up.... but i have this picture now to come to. this picture just reminds me of these feelings i dont wanna feel. and how it makes me feel inside. im gonna do this. and this time, i am gonna CONQUER it! i am gonna get to the point of looking in the mirror and seeing a person i like to look at. to actully see my face, and not my belly. cause thats all i see. and i cant blame anyone but me! i know its not gonna happen over night, putting on the weight didnt happen over night, but i will get there. and when i do its gonna feel sooo good!!!!! i am doing this for ME! and i putting ME first before anything esle at the moment. [ok well maybe god is first.] but i am gonna be selfish when it comes to this. i am gonna say- ITS ALL ABOUT ME! cause it is! i dont wanna be thinking to myself anymore, am i that girl that everyone looks at and says- ya i dont wanna be her. are people able to look past my belly and see the person i am? cause for so long its became of who i am. cause thats all i see when i look in the mirror. my belly and the person i dont wanna me. i dont want to be embarrassing to the people that are around me anymore. so i am taking control. and im gonna win it!
No comments:
Post a Comment