ya i was looking through my old blog on myspace, and i came across this... this was back in 07, before the miscarriage. and when it all i ever wanted was to have a baby.... who would have thought it would be something that would have happen to me... =/ Man talk about blast from the past today...re reading my blogs just bring up old feeling of the crap i dealt with than. the feelings i felt toward people. the huge blow out that went down.. and how something will just never change. Friendship that will never be meanded... but yet seem to be blamed only on ME?! i still dont understand it.. 4 years later, and it still doesnt make sence. i still dont get it. but four years later, ben and i are still together, and we are still married... where alot of people didnt think that.
than i think about HIM.. the name that i can not speak of... feelings that i dont think i will ever be ok with. the rejected feeling i feel, all come back to him. i cant.. i cant, start thinking about or talking about him. it will just tear me apart. and for goodness sakes, i just cant! =/
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