back on the wagon...

this above picture is me this summer at my brother wedding.... ill put up a more recent before soon.



i know last night blog was short. i was half asleep writing it. =] but it feels awesome. i love the fact that i am taking control of my life. like i want it to become something so crazy, that i just breath for it. i wanna be able to look in the mirror and not feel like i have to run away cause i dont like what i see.. i wanna like me. and this is the only way i can! i have a work out schdule- three days a week i go to the gym, and than the other two days a week i am thinking about picking back up the videos from biggest loser... and than saturday and sunday... i havent figure out yet- sunday is church/god day.. so dont know if i will do anything that day- i think saturday ill make it a dvd day- having three days at the gym/ three days dvd. and sunday to rest. i like that plan. =]

I have a different feeling about it this time.. i have GOD on my side [like i said last night] i am afraid to tell people cause if i so happen to fail again, i dont want them to be like ya i told you so.. i know that how people see me as, she gonna go strong for a couple of weeks- do really well and than just stop- but i am NOT! i am DETERMIND to do this. i am gonna fight through this.. i am going on day three without TOUCHING a soda!!!! and that right there is HUGE! its like when people stop drinking- and the counting the days they been off... this is my addiction, this is MY fight.... the fight that i have with soda/food is like being an alcoholic. but ive been praying and god has been there. he been there for me this time. plus i have a cool camelbak waterbottle so i love it. =]

ill keep everyone updated on how i am doing. =]
me